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Old 12-05-2010, 07:25 PM   #61
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I probably should of started my own thread.
Keep em coming. I'm looking forward to Tim coming back.......
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Old 01-25-2011, 08:22 AM   #62
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A pregnant woman with her first child, paid a visit to her obstetrician's office.

After the exam, she shyly said, "My husband wants me to ask you...", to which the doctor replies "I know...I know..." placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy."

"No, that's not it," the woman confessed.

"He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn."
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Old 01-25-2011, 08:23 AM   #63
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Where is Timmy?

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Originally Posted by NEPS.US View Post
One day, while driving along, I saw a priest.
I thought I would do a good deed, so I pulled over and asked the priest,
"Where are you going Father?"
"I'm going to give mass at St. Francis Church, about 2 miles down the
road," replied the priest.
"Climb in, Father! I'll give you a lift!"
The priest climbed into the rear passenger seat, and we continued down the road.
Suddenly, I saw a Pittsburgh fan walking down the road, with that "P" shirt
on and I instinctively swerved as if to hit him.
But, as usual, I swerved back into the road just in time. Even though I was
certain that I had missed the guy, I still heard a loud "THUD." Not
understanding where the noise ame from, I glanced in my mirrors but still
didn't see anything. I then remembered the priest, and turned to the priest
and said, "Sorry Father, I almost hit that Pittsburgh fan."
"That's OK," replied the priest, "I got him with the door."
Quote:
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What does a Steeler fan say when he steps up to the microphone?

"Would you like fries with that?"
Quote:
Originally Posted by NEPS.US View Post
What do you say to a Steeler fan wearing a suit?

"Will the defendant please rise?"
Quote:
Originally Posted by NEPS.US View Post
Did you hear the Pittsburgh schools had to cancel sex education classes for the week? Drivers' ed' needed the car.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NEPS.US View Post
Why did the Steeler fan grow a mustache?

So he could look like his mother
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Old 01-25-2011, 08:46 PM   #64
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Painter walks into a bar and sits down,,, nobody but him and the bartender,,

The news is on and a guy is about to jump off a bridge,,,

Painter says "I'll betcha 100.00 he don't jump, bartender takes that bet,,,

Sho nuff, he jumps,,, painter throws his 100.0 om bar,,

Bartender says, I can't take it, I saw the news at 6 and I knew he was gonna jump,,,

Painter says, Go ahead, I saw it at 6 too, dern if I thought he'd jump twice in the same day !!
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Old 02-27-2011, 09:39 PM   #65
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NEPS.US View Post
One day, while driving along, I saw a priest.
I thought I would do a good deed, so I pulled over and asked the priest,
"Where are you going Father?"
"I'm going to give mass at St. Francis Church, about 2 miles down the
road," replied the priest.
"Climb in, Father! I'll give you a lift!"
The priest climbed into the rear passenger seat, and we continued down the road.
Suddenly, I saw a Pittsburgh fan walking down the road, with that "P" shirt
on and I instinctively swerved as if to hit him.
But, as usual, I swerved back into the road just in time. Even though I was
certain that I had missed the guy, I still heard a loud "THUD." Not
understanding where the noise ame from, I glanced in my mirrors but still
didn't see anything. I then remembered the priest, and turned to the priest
and said, "Sorry Father, I almost hit that Pittsburgh fan."
"That's OK," replied the priest, "I got him with the door."
Quote:
Originally Posted by NEPS.US View Post
What does a Steeler fan say when he steps up to the microphone?

"Would you like fries with that?"
Quote:
Originally Posted by NEPS.US View Post
What do you say to a Steeler fan wearing a suit?

"Will the defendant please rise?"
Quote:
Originally Posted by NEPS.US View Post
Did you hear the Pittsburgh schools had to cancel sex education classes for the week? Drivers' ed' needed the car.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NEPS.US View Post
Why did the Steeler fan grow a mustache?

So he could look like his mother
Quote:
Originally Posted by NEPS.US View Post
Where will the Pittsburgh Steelers sit during this year's Super Bowl? On their couches at home!
bumpola.....for Tim.
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Old 02-27-2011, 09:47 PM   #66
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Quote:
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bumpola.....for Tim.
\]
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Old 02-27-2011, 09:49 PM   #67
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Whaddo you get when you have 45 Steelers fans in a room?
-Maybe a full set of teeth
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Old 02-27-2011, 09:50 PM   #68
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Why do birds fly upside down in Pittsburgh?












Because there is nothing worth sh!tting on.
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Old 02-27-2011, 09:52 PM   #69
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In a school just outside Pittsburgh, a first grade teacher Explained to her class that she is a Steelers Fan. She asked her students to raise their hands if they are Steelers fans too. Not really knowing what a Steelers fan is, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands all fly into the air with one exception. A little boy named Timmy has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks him why he has decided to be different. "Because I am not a Steelers fan." says Timmy. The teacher asks "Then what are you?" Timmy says "I am a proud New England Patriot's fan!" The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Timmy why he is a Patriot's fan. "Well, my Mom and Dad are Patriot fans so I'm a Patriot fan, too." Timmy responds. The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot? Timmy smiled and said, "Then I'd be a Steelers fan."
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Old 02-27-2011, 09:52 PM   #70
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Did you know that the toothbrush was invented by a Steelers fan ?

That's why it's called a TOOTH brush.



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Old 02-27-2011, 09:53 PM   #71
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You know you are from Boston when......................... You think there are only 25 letters in the alphabet (no R's).
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Old 02-27-2011, 09:53 PM   #72
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One night, after watching the game together at the bar, a Bengals fan, a Browns fan, and a Steelers fan are walking home together. All of a sudden, they are accosted by a drunk woman who is totally in the nude. She passes out on her back. At this point, to be good citizents, they use their hats to cover her up, the Bengals and Browns fans putting theirs hats over each of her breasts, and the Steelers fan over her vagina. They call the police to notify them of the inident and the stay with her to make sure she stays safe. When the policeman comes he brings out a towel to cover her in, and he begins to remove the hats one by one, first the Bengals, then the Browns, then the Steelers. After the Steelers hat is removed, he pauses and looks confused. "Officer, what's the matter?" the Steelers fan asks. "Nothing, it's just that usually you find an asshole under a Steelers hat."
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Old 02-27-2011, 09:57 PM   #73
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What is the difference between a dead skunk in the middle of the road and a dead Steeler fan in the middle of the road? There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Old 02-27-2011, 10:11 PM   #74
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What do the Patriots and Barry Bonds have in common? They have both cheated their way to success
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Old 02-27-2011, 10:17 PM   #75
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so a Pakistani guy walks into the doctors office and says he doesn't feel so good so the doc looks him over and tells him to go home an get a bucket an fill it with dog ****, dead fish and a few dead birds then put his head in the bucket and breath in for a few minutes through out the day .................so the next day the guy comes back in an says he's feelin great an wants to know what was wrong with him and the doctor says ''you were home sick''
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Old 03-09-2011, 01:24 PM   #76
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Quote:
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so a Pakistani guy walks into the doctors office and says he doesn't feel so good so the doc looks him over and tells him to go home an get a bucket an fill it with dog ****, dead fish and a few dead birds then put his head in the bucket and breath in for a few minutes through out the day .................so the next day the guy comes back in an says he's feelin great an wants to know what was wrong with him and the doctor says ''you were home sick''
That's amazing ^^^^^

I get a Mexican Jew joke removed and Ole's Pakistani joke gets left. Double standards me thinks?!
I'm just making an observation that my Mexican Jew joke was removed for being racist and this one above stays.
Not that I have any problem with ANY joke I read cos I'll laugh at any type of joke.
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Old 03-09-2011, 01:25 PM   #77
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Let's see if this joke is Racist...
Ole and Sven were drinking buddies who worked as aircraft mechanics in Minneapolis and one day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.

Ole said, "I vish ve had somethin ta drink!"

Sven says, "Me too. Y'know, I hear you can drink dat yet fuel and get a buzz. Ya vanna try it?"

So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and got completely smashed.

Next morning Ole woke up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!

The phone rang. It was Sven who asks "How iss you feelin dis mornin?"

Ole says, "I feel great. How bout you?"

Sven says, "I feel great, too. Ya don't have no hangover?"

Ole says, "No dat yet fuel iss great stuff -- no hangover, nothin. Ve oughta do dis more often."

Sven agreed."Yeah, vell, but dere's yust vun ting."

Ole asked, "Vat's dat?"

Sven questioned, "Haff you farted yet?"

Ole stopped to think. "No "

"Vell, DON'T, 'cause I'm in Iowa



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Old 03-09-2011, 02:53 PM   #78
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Quote:
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That's amazing ^^^^^

I get a Mexican Jew joke removed and Ole's Pakistani joke gets left. Double standards me thinks?!
I'm just making an observation that my Mexican Jew joke was removed for being racist and this one above stays.
Not that I have any problem with ANY joke I read cos I'll laugh at any type of joke.

You're right mist.

Prolly ain't no Pakistanis here to have reported it and brought it to our attention.

Either that or too many have called "customer service" at Intuit, Microsoft, BankAmerica, Comcast, AT&T, EXXON, etc etc and don't feel too sympathetic toward the outsourced techies who can't pronounce one English word, except "May I put you on hold ......" and "Thank you for waiting"



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Old 03-09-2011, 03:27 PM   #79
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Bill, you forgot to mention Dell & T-Mobile also.
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Old 03-09-2011, 04:03 PM   #80
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Bill, you forgot to mention Dell & T-Mobile also.
"Thank you for calling Beell Achiebett. I am sorry for our emisson, may I put you on hold?"



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